Sex and Spies (Part I): 3 Ways Sex Boosts Your Everyday Performance

Andrew Bustamante | September 2, 2020

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Greetings Everyday Spy,

Living and working undercover is incredibly exciting.

Hollywood spy movies make it look like every moment of a covert operation is dangerous; high-stakes and high-pressure. In reality, you know your cover is working best when nobody notices you. When you successfully ‘blend in’ to your environment, you appear as plain and mundane as everyone else. 

And when nobody thinks twice about you, you are as close to invisible as you can get.

My biggest complaint about spy fiction isn’t the entertainment value, it’s the fact that it leaves the most interesting, most enjoyable, and most useful parts of espionage out.

I’ve been lucky enough to consult for TV producers, screenwriters, authors and professional actors working on spy projects. When I explain to them how much better the real thing is than anything you see in books and movies, they all get excited. 

The problem is that the entertainment industry lives inside strict time-constraints – the length of a standard show, episode, or feature film. Even then, they have to leave space for advertising. They simply can’t explain or demonstrate real espionage within those limits. 

Especially not to an audience looking to ‘escape’ reality rather than ‘embrace’ it.

That’s why I built EverydaySpy.com to focus on education instead of entertainment.

It is my way to share the best parts of spying with you directly, without time limits or outside ads, and in a way that lets you use your new knowledge right away. To live the life you want using spy skills you never knew you would learn.

One area that always catches the attention of Hollywood types is when I tell them how spies have sex.

Spies have better sex than anything you see in TV, books or movies. It’s passionate, energetic, and frequent. 

Yes, we think sex feels good. Yes, we think it’s fun. But like so much of what I’ve already taught you about espionage, the ‘feelings’ (aka: subjective experience) aren’t the biggest benefit you can get from sex.

Sex brings incredible mental and physical benefits that increase your effectiveness in the field and in everyday life.

Reduced stress, faster reaction-time, more restful sleep and increased personal confidence are just a few of the benefits spies enjoy because of active sex lives. 

But in the last 20 years, Americans have seen a sharp decline in sexual activity. 

That decline has brought a number of mental and physical challenges along with it, including depression, obesity, and a wide range of mental health disorders.

  • Millennials show a 250% decrease in sexual activity compared to Gen Xers.
  • 60% of American’s under 35 years old do not have a regular sexual partner.
  • The average married couple has sex half as often as when they were dating.

Spies know the value of active, healthy sexual relationships.

And I want you to know, too. Because great sex is fundamental to a great life. And if you disagree with that, then you really aren’t going to like the rest of what I have to say.

Here are 3 ways sex boosts your everyday performance.

Sex releases hormones that improve your mental, emotional and physical state

You brain loves sex – and there is tons of science to prove it. 

The moment you feel attracted to a partner, your body starts to release a hormone called noradrenalin. Does that name sound familiar? It should, because the hormone is also a key ingredient in your natural fight-or-flight response to threats. 

This natural chemical is the reason you feel jittery with excitement and can’t stop staring at that sexy stranger. Similar to when your caveman ancestors faced off with wild predators.

As you progress through a sexual relationship, your brain and body react even better.

The physical act of sex releases feel-good dopamine, mentally-stimulating testosterone (in men AND women), and sleep-boosting melatonin. This awesome cocktail can take the worst day and turn it into a relaxing night regardless of your age or gender.

When you have frequent sex with a partner you trust, your hypothalamus increases production of oxytocin and vasopressin. 

These two hormones are responsible for the fulfillment and security we feel in relationships. Interestingly, as oxytocin goes down, stress levels go up. So if you are married and stressed out – even if that stress is coming from your partner – the solution might be hiding between the sheets!

Sex enhances your short and long-term health

Sex requires physical activity that reduces blood pressure, burns calories, strengthens muscles and improves flexibility. 

If your chuckling right now, consider the fact that sex burns nearly 4 calories per minute – as much as a brisk walk. Sex also increases blood flow and body temperature, both of which increase muscle flexibility. Flexibility itself is a way to strengthen muscles (it made yoga famous) and burn fat.

If you’re concerned that sex doesn’t last longer than a few minutes, we’ll cover that later in this series…

Men and women enjoy different but related health benefits from sex in addition to just exercise.

Men see a marked reduction in blood pressure, reduced risk of heart disease, and benefits to prostate health. Women can offset osteoporosis, reduce the symptoms of menopause, and increase bladder control after childbearing.

Both genders can use sex to reduce pain, improve immunity, and increase libido to keep more good sex coming!

Sex makes your brain work better

Sex plays a surprising but integral part in your brain’s cognitive function.

When it comes to cognition, sex benefits men and women in totally different ways. This shouldn’t be too surprising, considering the difference in male and female hormones and brain development after puberty.

For women, sex can improve multiple left-brain functions: language, verbal fluency, and spacial orientation. 

The improvements are tied to the fact that sex stimulates nervous tissue growth in the hippocampus and boosts women’s long-term brain health.

For men, sex triggers unique activity in the amygdala and cerebellum.

These areas are tied to the way men process emotions, physical stimulation (pain and pleasure alike), and engage in human relationships.

Unlike the improvements from hormones and health, these brain benefits are tied directly to orgasm.

That means if you don’t cross the finish line, you don’t get the prize. But the good news is that you don’t need a partner to play! This is the place where everyone has equal opportunity – so break out your favorite toy, website, or call your long-distance partner and start building your brain!


If you think sex is an uncomfortable topic to talk about here, I get it.

But I’m not going to stop.

Regardless of your faith, age, or marital status, sex has a role in your life. And if you don’t turn it into a tool to make your life better, others will use it as a tool to make your life worse.

I am not telling you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable – your body is yours.

My goal is to give you a new way of looking at an old subject. 

This was just the start of our conversation. 

Stay tuned, because next time we are jumping into sexual roles and the surprising way they bring you power.

Godspeed, #EverydaySpy


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Author: Andrew Bustamante, Founder of www.EverydaySpy.com. Andrew is a former covert CIA Intelligence officer, decorated US Air Force Combat Veteran, and respected Fortune 500 senior advisor. Learn more from Andrew on his Podcast (The Everyday Espionage Podcast) and by following @EverydaySpy on your favorite social media platform.

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